Most of us have a Facebook account. In my case, I have two. One for my blog friends, and one for close friends and family where I freely share pics of myself in my underwear. Okay, I really don’t share those pics, but I do post things I don’t necessarily want the world to see, like pics of my kids, or when I’m home alone, or whatever the case may be. I am proud to say, however, that I am not one of the offenders below.
People who can’t spell
Maybe because I’m a grammar nerd, or maybe because I’m a little on the snobby side, but when I see a post that says “Me nd my sister are taking ower kids to the mall” it really burns me. Really? ower?
People who use abbreviations
I’m not talking about abbreviations like NAACP or EOP or even DOOL. I mean abbreviations of one word, like “r” and “2″. For example, a post might say, “We r going 2 the mall with r kids”. I see no need to abbreviate two and three-letter words. It’s not Twitter or texting, and there is no character limit. It just makes people look stupid and lazy.
People who change their relationship status constantly
Nothing says low-class quite like being “in a relationship” on Tuesday, “it’s complicated” on Wednesday, and “single” on Thursday. Usually by Friday, these people are “in a relationship” again. My kids call this being “Facebook Official”. I say skip the official. Leave the whole category out of your profile so nobody knows how screwed up you are.
People who put too much information on their statuses
I once read a post that said “Hubby keeps trying to get some but I’m not in the mood”. Seriously, nobody cares about your sex life. Stop telling 4 million people.
The vague ones
They make hints to someone using quotes or song lyrics. So you read lyrics that say “and then one day she was gone”, and you think someone is either leaving their significant other or about to commit suicide. What are they trying to tell me? Should I spend time trying to decipher the meaning of this? In my case, no. If you need me, call me or send me a private message. Don’t make hints on your Facebook page and expect me to get something from it. Nancy Drew I am not.
I admit, I was once addicted to Farmville. However, I kept my posts limited to other Farmville players. I hate looking at my news feed and seeing that “Joe just scored 897890 points in Facebook Bingo” or “Jane gave you a shovel in Skunktown.” If I play the game, I will find my own shovel, thank you. Please keep your pieces and parts to yourself.
They’ve got it all. Their kids are geniuses, their husbands resemble celebrities and dote on them all day, they have awesome jobs, and they live in a beautiful home and never say a bad word. If this were true, they would have better things to do than talk about it on Facebook. The part they forgot to tell you is that they’ve consumed a bottle of wine before posting that, and all of those posts are about their imaginary friends.
Do you have “friends” like this?