Top Ten Signs You Have Been a Mom For Too Long
Remember when your first child got their first skinned knee? You wondered if you should take them to the emergency room just to be safe, but a more experienced mom told you that you were overreacting. As much as you thought she was calloused and jaded and you never liked her anyway, you eventually realized she was right. A few years down the road you’ve probably become that very same woman. Here’s how to know you’ve been doing this for far too long.
- You no longer jump when you hear a cry. It better be a blood curdling scream to tear you away from your Lifetime movie.
- The kids may have eaten sour cream and onion potato chips for breakfast a few times once.
- You’re irritated by the new cast of Barney. The other kids were much better actors.
- You laugh when a new mom freaks out over a booboo. You console them but secretly think that they better learn to deal with it because it’s only going to get worse.
- You don’t pay attention to the television rating system. You learned long ago that the TV execs really have no idea what your kid can or cannot handle.
- You subscribe to Parents magazine for the Gymboree coupons. You open the magazine, root through, grab the coupon and throw the magazine in the recycling bin without reading a single page. 20% off every month is a great deal. Who really has time to read anyway?
- Long gone are the days of socks matching outfits. With everything you’ve got going on, you’re just happy to find socks at all. Doesn’t matter if one is black and the other is green.
- Last week’s date night was a karaoke bar. You belted out “Let It Go” with a passion that would make Queen Elsa step down from her throne. The babysitter was in such a hurry to get out for the car at the end of the night that she forgot to get paid because you gave an encore performance while driving her home.
- You can get out every stain under the sun if given the chance. Unfortunately, you usually don’t notice them until they’ve been baked in by the dryer.
- You long for the day the kids go away to college just so you can have your life back. This will also bite you in the ass. You’ve been a mom for so long at this point that you’ll have no memory of life before children. And you wouldn’t want it any other way.